Lavender

Lavender

♥ Lavender's ViSiToRsss ♥

Monday, May 31, 2010

Another Shopping Day

Tired, tired tired...@@
Woke up 6.30am this morning because I have a JOGGING DATE with my darling JiJi, Elaine. I almost can't get up...super tired...@@ I wanna hide inside my warm blanket and continue my sleep...zzZZZ...
I admit that I'm piggy...:p


When was the last time I jog wit her??? Hmmmm...I really can't remember that, mayb was after our STPM holiday??? Wow...then u can figure out I din go for jogging for how many yearsss dy...@@ I'm quite lazy in doing exercise...hahahaha...:-p
*Elaine gonna kill me when she know tat*


Maybe u will feel curious why I ask her go for jogging today, well, actually I also dunno why, maybe I'm trying to get a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE back???
Yea...I admit that I'm not very healthy recently...T.T
*crying*


But jogging really make me feel tired...@@ After came back from Bukit Jalil's Park, I fall asleep again..@@ like a pig...T.T
Is hard for my cousin to wake me up...hahahaha...^^





We went to MID VALLEY today.
Actually I do not dare to step into this Shopping Mall after the day I broke up wit him. There was a lots of our memories, we used to always dating in here last time...huhuhuuuuu...recall back all the  sweet but heart pain memories...T.T



okok...FULL STOP!!
Forget bout that...T.T



Today is a good day to me too.
I have bought a new shirt, a pair of new blink blink shoes and a new lipstick...^^
*happy happy*



My cousin was quite surprise because I seldom buy new things. I won't simply buy any things if I din used my things till a very very bad condition. I dun dare to tell her tat I used my lipstick for 5 years dy...:-p















I was so tired after I back to home...but I still have to teach my sis in her studies...@@
She is having her exam now, pity her...T.T
"Jia You" lah...my Xuan Xuan...^^

Sunday, May 30, 2010

New Day, Shopping Day

Today is a pretty day for me...^^

I have promise to myself that I wanna to start a new life. When the moment I woke up and opened up my eyes in this early morning, I keep telling myself that...
"TODAY WILL BE YOUR BRAND NEW DAY!!!"
*okok...but I was so sleepy because I watched drama till 4am last nite... :-p*
I really enjoy TODAY because I spent my day day wit my cousins. 



First, we went to LOT 10 Hutong to have our lunch.

In my opinion, this is a special because full with all the nice and famous food, but I just feel not that comfortable that day, maybe is some weird feeling..:(
So, for temporary I decided not to go for the second time...don't ask me why...T.T




After our lunch, we hang around in LOT 10. This is my first visit to LOT 10, what I can comment about this Shopping Mall is...I really cant shopping in there lah~~@@ The thingsssssss are so expansive for me...T.T I am just a poor university's student...T.T Thus, I just can do WINDOW SHOPPING but can't get anything for myself.
*sob sob T.T*



The next station we are heading to...BODY MASSAGE in Puchong!!!
This is new for me too...but...I fall asleep during the Boday Massage...xD
 

*please forgive me~~ I'm too tired dy~~T.T*





and finally~~ our Last Station~~
Before we went back, cousins decided to have a last shopping mission in IOI MALL. They said they must at least get something for themselves before we go home. Finally, guess what?? Maybe today is not a good day for them because both of them fail to buy anything. Pretty sad for them...T.T But they bought a nice vest for me, and this vest is used to match with the new beach skirt I bought last week. The vest is really NICE and MATCH with my beach skirt. Omg, I love it so much...thanxxx jiejie...^^
*happy happy*



However, I still feel a bit emo and sad. Cousins were keep talking bout him, well, I know they were just playing and joking with me, and I knew that they just want me to be happy. But in this moment, I really don't want to think of him again. Although I enjoy the fun of shopping with cousins, but I still find myself occasionally inattentive. I was so afraid, afraid of a sudden he will appear in front of me. I really really don't want to see him. God, you will not be so cruel to me, right? ?




Pretty tired today, but I am going continue the SHOPPING JOURNEY in MID VALLEY wit cousins again, tomorrow...^^

*winkssssss*

Goodbye


This time, I really have to move on...
I know is pretty hard for me but I must force myself to do it






I have waste my one year time in a useless person, and another half year making myself dead.
I shouldn't waste my time anymore. So, now is the time for me to stand up...:)








Be strong, I believe I can do it.










Goodbye, My First Love
Goodbye, My Love
But I will never said "Goodbye" to you, coz I wish I will never meet you again in the future of my life.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

如果,这就是爱情


你做了选择 对的错的

我只能承认 心是痛的

怀疑你舍得 我被伤的那么深

就放声哭了 何必再强忍

我没有选择 我不再完整

原来最后的吻 如此冰冷

你只能默认 我要被割舍

眼看着 你走了

如果这不是结局 如果我还爱你

如果我愿相信 你就是唯一

如果你听到这里 如果你依然放弃

那这就是爱情 我难以抗拒

如果这就是爱情 本来就不公平

你不需要讲理 我可以离去

如果我成全了你 如果我能祝福你

那不是我看清 是我证明 我爱你

灰色的天空 无法猜透

多余的眼泪 无法挽留

什么都牵动 感觉真的好脆弱

被呵护的人 原来不是我

我不要你走 我不想放手

却又不能够奢求 同情的温柔

你可以自由 我愿意承受

把昨天 留给我
 
 
 
 

不会生气人的笨蛋

黄紫滢原来依旧是黄紫滢。。。
我依旧是我。。。
一点都没变。。。
因为,我到最后,还是学不会去恨,去生气,甚至讨厌一个人。。。

以前,就算被朋友出卖,冤枉,利用,我都不会去生气他们。我最多自己躲起来大哭一场,然后还是变成主动去跟伤害自己的人说话。
唉。。。我知道我是大笨蛋,大傻瓜。。。
现在,被他伤得那么深。。。从来没有受到那么大的伤害的我,原以为,我会对他记恨万分,但是,到最后。。。原来我还是不能。。。
因为,我觉得,恨一个人,实在太辛苦了。。。到最后,受伤的还是我自己。。。

我为什么从学不会去生气一个人??那是因为我觉得生气一个人,等于对自己的身体生气。我生气那个人,他不会知道,也不会有什么损失,倒是我自己这样生气着别人,最后起气坏的也只有自己而已。何苦呢??
我连生气一个人都不会,我要如何去恨他??
在恨他的那几天里,太辛苦了,所以我的心生病了。。。

算了吧,真的算了吧。。。
他对我的伤害已经造成了,那也是一个不变的事实。既然伤害已经不能愈合了,也不能挽回什么,我又何苦继续对自己造更多的伤害呢??
过去的,就让他过去吧。。。

至少这样,回忆还可以是美好的。。。
虽然,属于他的一切,已经被我扔完了。。。
但,毕竟回忆是抹煞不掉的。所以,有关他的一切,只能凭记忆去摸索了。我并不后悔这样做,那是因为,他已经有属于他新的人生了,而我也决定往前走,不再回忆里逗留了。。。

紫滢,加油!!!
虽然知道你还是会很难过,很心疼,但是,你一直都很坚强的,不是吗??
至少,这篇文章,你是笑着写的。。。^^

跟他的回忆好好道别吧。。。
然后,继续往前走了。。。^^
要往后走也可以,把以前那个活泼开朗,属于大家开心果的紫滢带回来吧^^

p/s : 虽然决定不恨,也不去生气他。但是,我对他发过有关的誓言依然存在着。我一定会过得比他更好,让他后悔的。。。也一定会找一个比他更优异的男朋友!!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

爱错了一个人

当你发现自己爱错了一个人时,你会怎样??
心痛??
心伤??
无奈??
自尽??
还是怨恨??

我不知道,因为,我只觉得。。。麻木了。。。
没错,今天,我终于知道,我爱错了人。。。
而且还是错得很厉害。。。
我爱上的,是一个花花公子。。。
我爱上的,是一个负心的男生。。。
我爱上的,是一个玩弄感情的男生。。。

这,我要怨谁??
这,我可以责怪谁??
我家人已经提醒了我。。。
朋友们已经警告了我。。。
但是,是我自己选择陷下去的。。。
是我自己的错。。。

分手不满一百天,你就可以轻易恋上别的女生。
由此可见,你对我根本不是真心的。。。
我却还傻傻在等待着你。。。
我真的很笨很笨。。。
我真的很傻很傻。。。

你说对恋爱感到恐惧,
你说对恋爱感到疲惫,
你说想单身一阵子。。。
好,我相信你,成全你,所以我答应跟你分手。
真是TMD。。。
我这边跟你分手,我还在这边哭哭啼啼,你却在那边到处认识女生,并在这么短的时间内交新的女朋友???
你的一阵子,也未免太快了吧??
你当我是什么!!!

我们交往了一年,你不把我介绍给你的家人朋友就算了,也不再电脑和手机放上我的照片,更过分的是你不要公开我们之间的关系。。。
我们交往了一年,facebook都只是is complicated。朋友问你为什么那么复杂,你还说随便放放而已。。。

而且,你也不给我在你的wall post留言,也从不来我的facebook了解我的事情。。。
但是,你跟她可以却在facebook里打情骂俏,
她在facebook里可以写下对你亲密的话语,
甚至你在你们交往的第一天就在你的status放in a relationship。
你当我是什么??
我二十岁的一年里,到底做了什么??
就把我一年的时间,一年的青春,一年的心思浪费在这样的一个人身上??

害我失眠,
害我患上厌食症,
害我差点连忧郁症都有了。。。
我真是全世界最笨的超级大傻瓜。。。T.T

死心了,当我下定决心放下,我就真的放下。。。
你的信息,删除了。。。
你的录音,删除了。。。
你的照片,删除了。。。
你的礼物,扔掉了。。。
所有有关你回忆的东西,我都抹杀掉了。。。
因为,你不值得。
你不值得我思念你,也不值得在我的人生回忆里留下足迹!!!

我发誓,我一定会过得更好!!!
没有你,我会过得更好!!!
而且,我也一定会找到比你更好,更优异的男朋友!!!
有一天,我会出现在你面前,让你知道,失去我,才是你人生中最大的损失!!!

谢谢你,如此伤害我,把我伤得如此的深。。。
你让我看清楚你的真面目,
也让我知道,家人和朋友才是最重要,最值得我去珍惜的。

我恨你!!!
没错,我是恨你!!!
谢秀彬我这一辈子,都不会原谅你!!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

含泪的祝福

祝你新年快乐,祝你生日快乐,
祝你万事如意,祝你事事顺利,
祝你心想事成,祝你梦想成真,
祝你。。。祝你。。。祝你。。。

祝福语,我们从小就会说了。
那是我们要给人家的祝福语祝贺,希望大家都可以如愿以偿,开开心心的生活。
我很喜欢对人家说祝福语,但代表我把一个好的心愿给了人家,可以让人家得到快乐。
从没想过,会有那么的一天,我也会有说不出的祝福。。。

祝你。。。幸福。。。快乐。。。
一句简单的“幸福快乐”。。。我说不出口。。。

看到你在facebook和另一个女生打情骂俏,
甚至说一些很亲昵和话语,
看到那女生在她的部落格力对你的赞赏和爱慕,
心。。。真的,很痛很痛。。。
除了痛,我也不知道要用什么形容词了。。。
因为,当眼泪很不争气的流下来时,我知道,我的心,已经痛死了。。。

我什么也不能做,
我能为你做的最后一件事,就是祝福你。。。
但是,我现在连对你祝福的话,我都说不出。。。

我很想诚心祝福你,祝你幸福快乐。。。
我很想真心祝福你,祝你幸福快乐。。。
我是真心诚意要祝福你的,但是,我的眼泪还是流了下来。。。

这是我生平第一次,含着眼泪,对人送上祝福。。。
这是我生平第一次,忍着痛心,对人送上祝福。。。
这是我生平第一次,不一样的祝福。。。

我哭了。。。真的哭了。。。
但是,我还是要为你送上祝福。。。
秀彬,我祝你。。。幸福,快乐。。。
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